
Balls To the Walls Series, #5
by Tara Lain
Blurb:
Can two men with skewed self-images see their true reflections in each other’s eyes?
Jerry Wallender—firefighter, surfer, and occasional nude model—knows he's no rocket scientist. So why does he keep choosing intellectual guys who make him feel dumber? He worked his buns off to overcome his reading disability and pass the firefighter’s test, and he loves everything about the job. Well, except for Mick Cassidy, the big, blond, hunky homophobe who harasses Jerry for being gay. But Jerry is smart enough to realize it’s not hate driving Mick, but the pain of a very unhappy upbringing.
Mick Cassidy, Firefighter Assist and Search Team, fights fires, but he can’t fight his attraction to the kindest, most generous—and sexiest—guy he’s ever met. Does that make him gay? If it does, he just might get himself killed by his gay-hating preacher father—and take Jerry down with him.
This is a re-release
Excerpt
“Sure. I can’t think of anyone else I’d want to be with forever.”
“Why?”
Mick smiled and took hold of Jerry’s hands. “That’s easy. You’re kind, and good, and funny. And so damned smart I’d be learning new stuff from you forever. Hell sounded pretty good with you in it.”
Jerry just shook his head back and forth.
He sighed. “But I guess hell would have been the easy way out.”
Jerry nodded. “It’s harder to live than to die.”
Mick sat on the floor at Jerry’s feet. “I was thinking I’d leave here. Go somewhere and start over. Leave my father and that whole gang behind.”
Jerry’s voice was very soft. “And me? Leave me behind?”
Mick looked up into those bluer than blue eyes. “That’s the hard part. That’s why I’m still here. I don’t want to leave you.”
“Why?”
“You’re sure full of whys. Because you’re my friend. My best friend.”
Jerry ran a hand across Mick’s cheek. It felt so nice. “I am your friend. Am I your lover?”
Mick’s breath caught. Weird. Half horror. Half delight. “I don’t know.”
Jerry’s fingers roamed into his hair, and he pressed his head against Jerry’s palm. “Wherever you go, you have to decide. Are you gay, Mick?”
“You said I am. Jezebel says I am.”
“We may think so, but you have to decide for yourself.”
Mick frowned. “I thought it wasn’t a choice.”
“It’s not, but there are plenty of guys walking around pretending they’re not gay. A lot of them end up freaking out their wives and kids when they get caught in some bathroom fucking a twink.”
Mick stared at the floor. “People hate you because you’re gay.”
“Yep.”
Mick took in a big breath. Suddenly that moment in the fire washed over him. “But God doesn’t hate you.”
Jerry shrugged. “I guess that depends on who you ask.”
The Balls to the Wall Series

Bk #1

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Bk #2

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Bk #3

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The first and second book are now available in paperback!

About the Author

Hiiiii! Thank you so much for having my firefighters on the blog. So happy to be here. : )
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